Teaching Your Children Sex Education

In the good old days (how we miss’em!), when the world was not as enlightened as it is today, knowledge about the rudiments and nitty gritty of sex was delayed until you reached your teen years. Today, however, a six year old could see and hear sex at the snap of a finger. With this in mind, we must come to terms with the fact that new methods must be required to deal with this new occurrence.

Gone are the days in which a woman waited for her daughter to see her first period, then sat her down to give her a comprehensive lecture about sex and its implications. Today, toddlers are so curious to know about sex that you may wonder if they were born with the knowledge, given their age.

A seven-year-old these days knows what you knew at 25, in the year 1995. Hence, the first way to let the message sink in is to ACT EARLY. Children are much influenced by whatever source of knowledge they come across first. Hence, if you leave the job of their early sex education training and sensitisation to the internet, friends and neighbours, by not acting early enough, it is to your own undoing. Starting early in child sex education guarantees better results than the converse.

Secondly, it is very important not to ignore the sex-related questions from your child. Children are naturally inquisitive. They yearn to fill up their emptiness and they seek out adults, whom the regard as symbols of knowledge, to guide them through. It might be surprising when a child first asks you questions about sex, but it is your responsibility to respond to their questions and satisfy their curiosity. Many parents erroneously dismiss the child, or even scold them for asking sex-related questions. Even the society itself has branded any talk about sex as dirty, but all this is wrong.

What you give a child as response is also very important. Do not give a dismissive, or an outright ridiculous answer. Respond calmly with candid answers. When you begin to discuss issues candidly with your pre-pubescent child, they will not be shy when talking to you when puberty comes knocking, because discussing these things will be normal between you and your child.

Finally, lead by a good example to your kids. Practice what you teach them and do what you would have them do. This gives them confidence in applying the methods you teach them. Remember they look up to you and are influenced more by what you DO than what you teach. Don’t leave them confused and disappointed.

Emmanuel Sokefun is a Microbiology graduate of Redeemer’s University, Osun State, Nigeria. He is also an award-winning essayist, a poet, an author and a freelance writer.

Sex Education: Its Importance and Need in the Society

Sex Education, as the term clearly indicates, refers to education which is based on human sexual behavior. Parents, schools or caretakers offer it in some parts of the world to educate the children, who are stepping into their adolescence. If formally received, sex education is either taught as a full course at high school or junior high school level or in biology, health, home economics classes. Teaching sex education is rather a controversial issue; debates have been going on for several decades discussing if it should be taught formally in schools or not. Sex education in schools should exist without any doubts and apprehensions as it offers many benefits.

Adolescence is called the “age of storm and stress”. The young teenagers, during this phase of life are under deep psychological pressure. Mainly, this psychological pressure is the result of one’s growing sexual needs and the biological changes and hormonal effects on the individuals. During this time, most of the children are observed to become easily irritable. They find it difficult in most situations to deal with the family members. They might not want to talk to them about the natural changes taking place in their body and mind. In such circumstances, one highly suitable option is that of the teachers who are able to teach them to control their urges until a proper age. In schools, trained teachers would help the students to know how to deal with their sexual impulses. This role can not be replaced by parents or other entities. A classroom discussion and lesson would make them feel it is natural, and they would also feel that they are being understood by someone. However, taking them individually to psychologists or other trained educators would not help. In such a situation they might consider themselves to be different and misunderstood by family and people around them. Therefore, it becomes crystal clear that the best way to offer sex education is always in school.

It is a psychological phenomenon that children at young age are under an immense peer pressure. Something that they learn in the class with their peer group is what makes a better impression on their minds than otherwise. They are more focused in the lessons that teachers offer and are more eager asking question to clear their ambiguities. They might feel embarrassed and uneasy questioning their parents about it, but it always differs in case of the teacher in the class. This is because everyone in the class is going through the same stage. A class discussion becomes healthy source of learning as it helps in enhancing the knowledge on the subject.

Many people advocate that sex education should only be restricted to families, that is, that parents should personally educate their children. This view is totally illogical and holds complications and questions. The first point is that not all the parents would be willing to do it or would be able to do it. Secondly, this education needs a proper channel through which it should reach its required learners. There could be many possible problems in the families so they might not be able to take the role of a teacher in educating their children regarding sex. The demand of annulment of sex education from the schools is highly conservative.

Most importantly, there are many single parents, how would they take up this challenge of educating their children on their own? Parents can not properly educate their children about sex also because they lack details that qualified sex educators convey in schools. Thus, the stance of abolishing sex education in school is not a favorable thought. In many observed cases where parents or children are embarrassed about talking over sexual matters with each other, it is most likely to be uneasy situation at both the ends. This keeps the children from learning the answers to the questions they might have in their minds. This can be a great flaw of shifting the duty of sexual education from teachers to the parents. It will leave the children only half or less educated about the issue and as they say “Little knowledge is a dangerous thing”, this might end up in grave situations.

According to research, most of the parents also feel uneasy because they know that they are not equipped to provide the apt sexual information to their children. They also fail to comprehend what details and information should be concealed and what should be revealed, keeping in mind their children’s age. On the other hand, there might also be parents who would feel comfortable talking to their children about sexual matters, but only when the children bring the matter up.

Most parents, around the world, may also lack role models to look up to as they would not have talked over sexual issues with their own parents in their adolescent. This makes them inefficient to trigger their roles of educating their children in an effective way as the assigned teachers are able to do in schools.

Sex education is not limited to only a single branch of knowledge. This education focuses on a number of significant sexual matters that are offered with especially designed courses and programs. Sex education covers the education of relationships, sexual abstinence at a certain level and teaching to practice safe sex to the level of children who are thought to be sexually active. Therefore, its claim for being appropriate and guiding holds strong base.

At a certain age of adolescence, growing children have problems facing relationships and controlling their personal emotions. Conflicts related to such matters persuade many youngsters to commit suicides or take part in other immoral activities. Proper sex education in schools also concentrates in making the youngsters emotionally stronger and in educating ways to cope with relationship problems. This argument strongly shows the immense benefit of sex education in schools.

Sex education is an important health strategy and this cannot be denied. AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases can only be controlled if people are aware of precautions and have a vast knowledge in this case. This knowledge is conveyed through sex education, and if sex education is banned in schools and if parents have to educate their children, then it would not be as beneficial to the individuals and the society on the whole as teaching in school could be.

Sex education does not exist in all parts of the world. Asians are commonly regarded conservative when compared to westerners. It is not a part of their course in schools; this does not in any way mean that their teenage pregnancy rate is any lower if they are not exposed to sexual matters openly. In fact, this is one way how peers can mislead most of the youngsters and persuade them to bask in young age sexual relationships without any attempts for safety. This has resulted in serious problems such as the spread of fatal diseases like AIDS and has also increased rate of illegitimate births.

Researches have shown that the cause for ramification of STDs (sexually transmitted diseases) in the eras of 80s and 90s in the US and the UK is the lack of knowledge and information provided about sex in schools or home. Home and family has never and will never play an integral part in conveying sex education to teenagers, therefore to rely on the option of home, is to deceive your own self from the expected exigency in the future.

Some conservative groups assert that to discuss sexual issues openly is to devalue religion. No religion in the world abstain its followers from spreading the information that is so essential for human lives. Sexual behavior is natural and takes place through biological changes and this cannot be questioned as this is a part of human life. Thus people who take refuge under the religious shelter, to make their arguments strong, are misinterpreting religious ideas and laws.

Modern time is the time of internet and powerful media. Teenagers are exposed to Hollywood, TV and internet. These sources offer demonstration of sex which is highly thoughtless and casual; in this situation it is almost illogical to leave the teenagers on their sexual choices. They are young and fully excited; therefore they can not make a favorable choice. Sex education in school offers the information and knowledge they need to understand to know the responsibility that is accompanied by sexual relationships. The teacher in school helps the students to know the difference between a thoughtless and thoughtful sex. Having an urge for sex is not a problem; it is a natural process showing that the young people are developing to become adults; however the problem is having unsafe sex and hurting people through sexual choices.

People who claim that sex education in schools have more cons than pros, often come up with the statements suggesting that sex education in classroom should be avoided because the most effective tool for offering sex education, according to them is TV, films, magazines and media. Such people fail to understand that trained sex educators under especially designed programs teach sex education to children in schools. They are thus able to handle children’s problems and clear their ambiguities in the best possible way, whereas magazines, films, TV and other channels and mediums of providing sex education are be reliable. They are most of the times urging the young people by encouraging their sexual promiscuity rather than effectively teaching and educating them. This wrong approach damages the society and the individuals in disguise of ameliorating them.

People contradicting the notion insist that sex education always makes the learners have sex and experience it personally, once they learn about it in school. The reality is that sexual urge for any human being is a natural occurrence. When children reach to a certain age, whether they find people to educated them about sex or not, they do have natural instincts about it, and therefore if provided a chance they would surely want to satisfy their urge. This natural reaction can not in any way be related to the outcome of sex education in schools. In fact, the best time for letting sex education play its role is when the sexual urge increases and the teenagers want to find a source for its satisfaction. It offers individuals with the required knowledge so that they are careful. It is only then that they understand the consequences of sex leading to child birth as well as sexually transmitted diseases. Thus sex education is basically a warning and a caution for such children who are stepping into the phase of life where they would need to know all this.

Some people who go against the topic also argue that even though sex education exists, it has still not decreased the rate of teenage pregnancies. I would rather not go deep in to the moral issue of the topic, but it is important here to discuss and point out the shortcomings of our society. Social values that insist that being single, pregnant and teenagers is fine, is what has to be changed. Through educating the children and making them aware that it is just not ‘cool’ to be pregnant when single or teenager, and just because ‘others are also doing it’ does not in any way justify their actions, this change can be achieved. There are many sexual education programs that teach the learners about the grave consequences that can result in having early sex. This type of sex education in schools is helpful and makes the learners responsible and mature enough to understand the difference between morality and immorality.

People, who are against the notion, repeatedly state the question that why sex education is given so much importance when there are also many other issues connected with juvenile delinquencies such as drugs, drinking and aggressive bullying. No doubt, there are also many other issues to consider important enough to be taught in school for awareness but psychological researches show that behind most of the juvenile behavioral problems, one main reason is always the active sexual urge which drives the young people to indulge themselves in harmful activities like drug abuse and alcoholism. It is also commonly observed that young teenagers who indulge into such activities are unaware of proper sex education. Once they are given a true picture of sex and its consequences their mental status relaxes and they are easily able to cope with other social taboos.

Parents, who believe that sex education pollutes the minds of their children, have in large number taken their children out of schools promoting sex education. In this process of instilling in their minds their religious and family values, they forget that the media, their children are largely exposed to can also lead them astray. Sex education in schools does not in any way offers them an invitation to have open sex by making them aware of the risks; it just educates them about the matter in the best way.

Apart from educating the students about safe sex, sex education in schools is also helpful as it helps students to learn proper terminology for reproductive system, STDs and birth contraceptives rather than the street lingo that is commonly used by laymen. Sex education classes are gender based and that is why the young learners are not embarrassed and are only taught what is related to their gender. Early inclusion of classes also helps the teenagers to either become abstinent for some time or to become responsible if they are already active. Therefore, many sexual problems that occur in adulthood can be controlled if effective and apt sex education is given at the right time.

A proper sex education which is holistic, nonjudgmental and comprehensive never misleads or misguides the teenagers. Such a curriculum should be imposed in all schools around the nation; it is an answer to many social problems and conflicts. Would any parent leave their kindergarten kids to walk alone on the streets without letting them know how to walk safely? No parent would actually do that, in the same way, letting your teenager children socialize with their peers and fellows without any proper sexual education is nothing contrary to the analogy mentioned above. It is hazardous and risky for their lives. Thus, proper sex education in schools should be encouraged so that they learn all the significant facts through trained teachers, who help and supports them in these matters of highly crucial value. Sex education should be taken as a positive aspect which promises healthier and better life for the youngsters. It therefore should be taken as a subject taught in schools to enhance knowledge on the subject matter; something merely as human anatomy or biology class. Sex education should be given in all schools to educate the children for their betterment, avoiding it will only result in emotional, social and health problems.

Sex Education in Schools Pros and Cons

Sex education is the act of informing younger and adult generations about everything they need to know about sex. Sex education is one of the most controversial issues in education, which has been floating on educational institutions since ages.

Sex education is not just about sex. It includes other sensitive issues like sexual health, sexual reproduction, sexuality and others that parents often feel uncomfortable talking with their children. Therefore, it becomes the responsibility of schools to address this issue, and inform and educate students about it as much as possible.

Often, sexual education in schools is considered as a recreational course rather than a serious issue. There are many pros and cons of sexual education being taught in the public schools.

Pros of sex education in schools:

– Classes are gender-exclusive. This saves embarrassment among students and teach them only what they need to know based on their gender.
– Properly taught, sexual education could become a regular and ongoing Human Anatomy and Biology complete with tests and grading that goes toward graduation credits.
– Students can be taught the correct terms of the reproductive system of sexually transmitted diseases and contraception birth instead of “street slang.”
– Myths surrounding sex can be dispelled (for example, can not get pregnant the first time).
– Studies show that many teenagers become sexually active before the inclusion of educational classes. Principles of inclusion of classes has been shown to help students stay or to abstain or at least be responsible if they are active.
– Proper education can have an impact on the prevention of sexual problems in adulthood.

Cons of sex education in schools:

– Students may still be subject to embarrassment or excitable by subject matter. This can make for out of control classrooms if students take to laugh or make inappropriate comments.
– Most education is taught as a brief interlude in physical education or health class. This is not enough time to relate effectively to serious material.
– Often, sexual education can go against moral or religious beliefs of an individual. Many schools do not teach abstinence-only, but to teach how to have sex safely, while many of the religious and family stress marriage before intercourse.

– Sex education is often seen as a “recreational” course and not a serious issue (this is a direct correlation with the fact that there are no grades or scores to be derived from class).
– Teachers are not always adequately trained to teach sexual education and may violate their own beliefs or morals on the subject rather than continuing with the facts.
– The attitudes of parents, educators and religious leaders in the community can make the stuff that vary from state to state or even school-to-school.

Why The Adult Film Industry Absolutely Sucks And Is A Bad Sex-Education For Most Men

You might think the title of this article sounds a little extreme, but it’s not.

Allow me to explain…

I’m a firm believer that a man’s greatest pleasure in life is to totally SEXUALLY SATISFY his woman in the bedroom.

You know what I’m saying, right?

Giving your woman mind-blowing, earth-shattering SEXUAL PLEASURE beyond her wildest dreams — that makes you feel pretty good.

And that’s where the ‘adult film industry’ falls flat on it’s face most of the time.

You see, most porn is made for a male audience and it just shows female porn stars usually being quite roughly ‘screwed’ by male porn stars.

Now I’m not against rough sex.

In fact, it’s my experience and that of my clients that most women like the sex to be a little rough most of the time.

But there’s another thing women also like during sex — ORGASMS.

And this is why I say that porn movies are a bad education for men because the women on screen rarely seem to have an orgasm!

I believe that as a society our social skills are becoming worse with time. People are resorting to communicating with friends by electronic means (Facebook, Twitter etc) and we are forgetting how to communicate in ‘real life’.

This is leading to a lot of single people.

And what do single men tend to do a lot of?

You got it — watch porn.

So they see women having sex and getting roughed up, but they don’t see a lot of orgasms. And that’s a very bad thing because when these guys eventually get a woman — they don’t know what the hell they are doing in bed.

Here’s a pretty interesting FACT:

– 50% of women have CHEATED and most of them did so to GET BETTER SEX

And by better sex, you can read — GET MORE ORGASMS.

With all that said, I should just clarify that I’m not a ‘porn hater’. In fact, I’ve found some women I’ve dated enjoy porn. But they are very specific about what kind of porn movies they like to watch.

Usually it’s the ones with a bit of a believable story line and the ones where the women look like they are ENJOYING IT, read — having orgasms.

Women do not like to watch the run of the mill, ‘bang, bang, bang’, all about the male actor type porn.

So, what’s the bottom line?

Well, if you are single right now — spend more time off your computer, interacting with real people and don’t use porn as your sex-education tool.

If you are in a relationship, be very careful about what type of porn you get your woman to watch with you (if you do that kind of thing).

Above all else, whatever your current relationship status — remember to give women incredible pleasure and wild screaming orgasms in the bedroom. Do that and you’ll be doing better than 90% of the men out there.